im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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