Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I think a kid would responsible me up
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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