omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize
