Porn is love you can see.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
