i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
