is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Randomize
