Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Randomize
