There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
