White coat. Heels.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I deserve to be covered in dicks
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
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