There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I fill condoms, not promises.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
