I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize