I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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