dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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