Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
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