the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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