fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
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