it's too hot outside to masturbate.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Randomize
