i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
