my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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