I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
it hurts more in the daytime
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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