You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
