But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
So drunk its hurt
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize