I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
