all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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