By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
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