Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
