My liver just broke up with me...
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
