I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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