That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
