happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Randomize
