I don't usually arrange sex via text message
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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