I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
