eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
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