I CAN MOONWALK!
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if i died would you start the facebook group?
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Randomize