someone get that fucking seahorse.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
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