Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
