So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
