ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Randomize
