Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
