If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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