seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Randomize
