I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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