and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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