This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
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She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
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There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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