Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
