this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Randomize
