I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
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