i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
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Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
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Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
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