Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
