I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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