dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
