Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Randomize
