I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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