This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
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