**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
