dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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