i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
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