But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Randomize
