doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
did i walk over a car last night?
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
