Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
