i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
