Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Randomize
