my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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