I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
