it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
