It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Randomize
