You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
how can u be prego again
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
